Time for a word from our sponsers.

This is a fic I've been working on for a friend. She wanted something to commemorate the most recent chapters of Naruto (and she always gets the fics she wants, she asks, I write). This is the first of what I think will be a three parter, though I am not looking forward to the last part. Bon apetite!

~

“They’re not your students anymore. They are soldiers under my command.”

It was a widely acknowledged fact that jounins are all jerks. Every last one of them. Even Kurenai had initially changed from this sweet, understanding chuunin to Miss Bitch. Hopefully, she would adjust with time to this new position, but until she stopped rolling her eyes at the “silly antics of schoolteachers,” his opinion of her would stay right where it was.

Okay, so maybe he was a little sore about her part in the Chuunin Exams also. But it was nothing compared to that bastard Kakashi.

“His soldiers? His soldiers!? What the hell!?”

The exclamation was accompanied by several dull thunks as a number of kunai hit their respective targets in the training field. Iruka had been throwing every kunai and shuriken in his arsenal for the past two hours at various objects. If he ran out, he’d just collect everything, put it back where it belonged, and start over.

“Just because he’s a freak” thunk “doesn’t mean his soldiers” thunk “are ready for this!” thunk

“And just because you were sixteen before you passed, doesn’t mean they aren’t.”

Iruka’s fist clenched around the kunai he had been about to throw, keeping himself from hurtling it at the insufferable bastard’s face. He took in a deep breath to calm himself before turning to face the jerk known as Kakashi Hatake.

Or, that’s what any reasonable person would do.

Instead, Iruka let launch the very dangerous projectile in the opposite direction of his original target, feinted to the left and leapt to the right to avoid a counter, and then turned to face the jerk known as Kakashi Hatake.

He had caught the kunai, of course. Iruka was pleased to see that it would have hit Kakashi’s right eye.

“So… you’re still mad.”

“Damn right I’m mad, Kakashi!” Iruka threw another kunai at the man for emphasis. Kakashi had enough sense not to block this one -- it ghosted by his head, taking a few exceptionally unruly hairs with it.

That was enough for Iruka. Having taken out an acceptable amount of rage at Kakashi, Iruka’s shoulders slumped and his glare lost its edge before leaving his face entirely. For all intents and purposes, he looked like a big, sulking child.

Kakashi, that bastard, just looked all the more amused.

“Can we have make up sex now?”

Iruka didn’t answer. Instead, he took out another kunai and started digging into the ground with it.

This threw Kakashi off. Iruka didn’t sulk. He got pissy, threw a fit, apologized for throwing projectiles along with the fit, and things were fine. There was something different going on today.
It took Kakashi all of ten seconds to figure out what.

“You’re legitimately afraid for him.”

The look he got in return made Kakashi feel like an idiot.

“Iruka.” He tried to keep his voice as un-exasperated as he could, sitting down next to the pouting chuunin. “He passed the first test with enough heart to keep seventy-seven other genins from dropping out, if Ibiki’s word is any to go by. Right now, they’re off in the Forest of-”

“Of what, Kakashi?” Iruka turned to his companion and sometimes lover. “Forest of what? Death? They’re in the Forest of Death, Kakashi. Death!”

Kakashi’s gaze was unmoved.

“Yes, the Forest of Death. Where, if I remember correctly, a newly appointed chuunin once waited for several hours before a certain ANBU showed up.”

Iruka used to blush when that was brought up. The skin around his scar would darken and he would stammer once or twice before snapping at Kakashi for whatever reason. Tonight, he cast a glance towards the forest before settling his own unmoved expression on the Copy Nin.

“He’s like my little brother. I have every right to be worried about him.”

“And he’s apparently my nephew, so I have every right to put him in situations where he’s bound to be in some form of danger!” Kakashi declared cheerfully.

The chuunin just stared at him for a very long moment.

“What?”

“Nephew?”

Kakashi waved his hand at that, as if shoeing away whatever notion Iruka had in his head.
“Just something the fourth said once. But none of that matters because Naruto will be just fine! So stop worrying because all that’s doing is taking time away from us.”

Iruka let out a reluctant smile, but it only stayed a moment before dropping again as he turned to Kakashi.

“Fine, I’ll let go of all my worrying tonight, but you,” he jabbed a finger into the jounins chest for emphasis “if one thing happens to him, you will never-”

“Never hear the end of it, never have sex again, never see the light of day, yea, I know.” Kakashi poked Iruka in the nose, a teasing lilt in his voice.

Iruka, indignant as always, promptly stood up and started walking towards the village.

“Now you don’t get to know what you’ll never because I wasn’t going to say anything on your list.”

Kakashi grinned and chased after him. It wouldn’t be fair to know what to defend against before hand; that was practically cheating.

~